what

What is 

A man

Is what a

Man

Is

Man what is

A what 

Man a

What is 

Is Man what 

Is what 

Man 

What is 

What Man is

A man 

What 

Is

A 

Man 

Is Man what?

What is?

is there more?

I just hope in silence. 

In secret and always

I love you in ways

Secret and with purpose 

Not the ways of mortal men

But as the sun loves

To shine and give life 

I love you in ways 

None could understand 

And would possibly fear

For it's fire and intensity 

I love you not just 

Because you are beauty 

Incarnate but because your

Soul Is pure and your eyes 

They own me and still 

I feel safe

I love you in the ways 

A flower must bloom 

And a catapillar destroys itself 

Only to become nothingness 

But patently remembers 

The inevitably of it's perfection 

I love you because all else

Will wither away in the face

Of time and entropy

But our love will remain 

I love you because 

It is all I know how to do

And that is ok

That is ok

ideal

A piece of whisper 

Claims your instant

A moment of Devine

Clarity 

Defense ego gone

With a perfect openness 

You become the filament 

Burning like a star

The bulb lights your 

Path

To an idea

The door opens

The key falls

Gracefully into your

Hand

And with this

You become open

To the foreverness

Of possibility 

does it die

Can it be fixed?

Is there a point of

No return 

To that sunny day

When even God 

Approved and blessed 

Our unusual love

Can I hope to repair 

What tools exist 

A broken foundation 

Needs so much

More

Is the distance 

To great 

For hope 

I cry into the void 

Where once was love

Is now a black hole 

Our calapsed star

Where light 

has no

Chance to escape 

The event 

Horizon of lost love 

Dr. Light

thought about YOU while

Peter Gabriel knew

about your eyes

always flamed with

too much honesty and

 whiskey makes men out

of boys are not meant

what I said that day

was long overdue what

you must have been such

a friend comes along only once

in a song that you and I

 both loved too much to

be sane or insane is all

a question of context 

I Remember

I remember you for

The smile you gave as I

Loved your scarf and maybe 

Already new you

I remember you for 

The moment we merged

In the forest on

A picnic table entwined 

As the pitch night enveloped 

Us as we desperately tried

Not to succumb

To the inevitable 

I remember you as the

One without judgment

Tears burning across your face

As you longed for a look 

Of love and wanting for something 

That came too soon 

And I am certain 

I loved you then without 

A question or doubt

I remember your uncertain 

But unstoppable hope

As we crashed our lives 

Into each other's 

But just as friends 

Not too serious, laughing 

In hopeless entanglement 

Afraid of what we

So deeply felt and 

How hard we fell in 

I remember your voice 

That too early morning 

As you trembled

To ask that I accept your love 

Without anger or pride 

As though I had not already 

Long before 

I remember the night when 

We gave ourselves the freedom 

To be the love we had 

So long denied out of

Fear of being wounded 

Again

Finally feeling freedom

From our past lives 

As the fear we had

Used to build walls to protect

Crumbled and we

Once again knew 

The joy of being vulnerable 

I remember the rain soaked day 

And the sun swept the clouds 

Away as God gave a blessing 

On the most unusual of days

And we laughed and laughed and couldn't hold back any longer 

I remember when you took

My hand upon your heart 

Creating our beloved daughter 

And the excited trepidation 

Of birth on a day that one 

Soul left in tragedy and 

And a new life took its place 

I remember your constant 

Forgiveness and endless hope 

That time and again pulled me 

From the very edge into 

Your arms as you lay

Your head against my heart 

I will always remember that you 

And always you 

Are my one and only 

My always and forever

My reason, my hope, my choice 

To rage against the darkness 

Of a world that ever more 

Feels stripped of compassion 

I will never forget that you 

Saved me and continue to

Save me with a love that 

Is impossible and 

possible somehow 

In its infinite capacity 

I will always remember

From this moment back 

to the day

I loved your scarf 

That because of you 

I have known the deepest 

Love and joy 

That no person is worthy of 

And I can only hope 

That the humble gift

Of my eternal gratitude 

And the entirety of my soul 

Is enough 

For you to keep me 

In your grace

As the angel who 

Chose to love a fool

is this a dream

Is this a 

Dream

Is dream

This 

A

This a dream

Is

Is a dream

This is 

Dream this

Is

A

This a dream

Is a

Dream is this

A dream

This is a dream

Marriage

it will take you apart

it will break you down, building you up

and you create something new

two beings, independent

strong, full of gusto

eyes wide and willing to take

a risk, the grandest

and most wonderful of all

choices, a decision to jump

to fly, maybe fall

and yet...

Where once there were two

something more, something grand

they find a road to walk

only they know, alone and together

they build a home, make a place

and

if by chance they are mighty

in spirit, in will...

Where once there was less, or none

two become one

two become one, you see

two become we

why does a child's skin color matter?

Why does a child's skins color matter when they laugh

A mother's when she cries

A father's when he protects his family

A grandfather's when he shares wisdom

A grandmother's when she wants to keep you fed

And warm

Remember we are all children of this grand adventure

Love has no name, creed or religion

Hope is not only for those with means

It is the thread that binds us all together

As one hand holds another

We walk along

Always searching for a place to rest our hearts

Some place warm and inviting

With cherished voices filled only with compassion

And a hug to ease the pain

Life is so very long, and over in an instant

All that lives beyond our place on this planet

Is the times we have shared 

And those we have touched with our kind words

So I beg you to take a look around

You are surrounded by beauty and wonder

Let it flow through you

Like water

And let go of this hate, that you may swim

In the oceans of laughter and not drown

In the hopelessness of inner turmoil

I love you all and I will love you always

For I am forever reminded that we are all human

And we all have humanity

Scent of Memory

Nostalgia 

is the most powerful of all drugs

It will bring you back to

the place of your most intense joy, 

and tare you away 

in the same instant leaving you 

tear soaked and broken

How I hate it so

and long for it always

A prisoner of hindsight 

Nostalgia is the God of lost moments 

It holds the keys 

To all the doors 

forever locked by time 

So we spy through the keyhole 

Longing for answers about why

Nostalgia is love 

It is the only tangible way to relive

the moments, the never ending 

Oceans of joy, that we once swam in

And now can only hope for a glimpse 

If only in tiny, bittersweet doses

Of the times we were better 

That we can never live again 

Hello Goodbye

Plagued by nostalgia in a 

Deja dream sequence

I can still smell your

Hair and smiles

You taste of regret and

Not much else

And that's just about all

I ever wanted

You made me the wind

And I made you laugh

You flew so high and

Just as I reached for you

You were a ghost And

I was the the wind song 

Hello, goodbye

Hello goodbye

Hello

Goodbye

Can you feel my whisper

On your neck when

You try so desperately 

To escape my dreams

Hello, goodbye

Was it enough that we had

So little time it's as though

We didn't exist at all

Hello

Why don't we just run away

Let ourselves be empty of

What is and be full of 

What might be 

Goodbye

My false love, my never could

Have been

Take all of me and leave me 

With only the whisper on 

Your neck and the blue

Color washed dreams 

Always missing that one detail

That flicker of light

That slips through my hands

Like the blood of

an impregnated hourglass

Goodbye, hello

Hello, goodbye

A thing is just a thing

A thing is just a thing until you place value on it. A diamond is just a rock until it is part of a wedding ring. A bunch of words scribbled on a page is nothing until it is a poem. We place value on the things and they become so much more. They became who we are, our hopes, traditions and our meaning for existence. A thing is always just a thing, until it is not

But I try to think back about what my first memory or my earliest memory was it always comes to a time when I was trying desperately to find a toy within my toy box I needed to find this toy so desperately and I couldn't find it no matter what and I was crying and my parents came upstairs and asked me why I was crying and they felt that somehow through this it was because we were moving but really I just wanted that toy more than anything else I just wanted that toy but I couldn't find it.

Piano Entropy

Such intensely melancholy joy
Drips into each stone crevasse
Sinking into the soil of memory
Feeding the seeds of past elation
And days long since erased from time
Now these buried moments
come bursting forth
from earth to sky, the flowers of regret
And I must face them, smell them
Reliving the pained sorrow
The radiance of love
And all the times and places
I was once alive
But for now are gone

Ambivalence

Hello Me

I wish the mirror would quit staring me down

with unforgiving looks and

reflections of the past that

plague 

me with nostalgia 

scented desires for some kind of element

some piece of what I left so deep

in my closet, my back stairwell leading to my

basement hope, chained but optimistic

with only whispers to feed 

me

bit by bit

drip, drip, drip

here is some peace returned to

you, here

is where it all went some kind of side

ways, but

you found your way and yet

it always starts with

a slight smell, a distant song

the wind tickling my

soul, well hello there, me

how have you been?

After a Rage Cry and Smile It's just Me and the Coffee makers drip Song

After a rage cry and
Smile
It's just me and
The coffee makers drip
Song

Sometimes

Sometimes you don't keep the love of your life
Sometimes the wind blows hard upon your brow in a cold
Embrace of reality
Sometimes the rain hits hard and flesh
Is weak and sometimes
It's all too much
And you must let it be

let it be
Sometimes the smile that brings you joy
Unimaginable is the smirk
That cuts

Your chest open
And flings your fragile soul
Against the jagged rocks
Sometimes everything keeping you living
Is all that is why

You are dying and
You know what you

Must do
And it hurts you so
And you do it
And sometimes we get to be the best

Of ourselves and our better nature is what comes natural and

Sometimes
Today becomes tomorrow and
It gets better
And sometimes the worst of times

Becomes the best of times

Entrainment

In unison that which
is responsible for a life and
Beauty you see
Light
can be
Nature's brush, man's
Delight
The more we shine
The
More we
Help
Others shine, so
Profound and
Random
Our existence

Pyrrharctia isabella

the Woolly Bear

larva emerges

consumes all

that is can, it feeds

on many different species

of plants and mitochondria


The larva is black at both ends, with 

or without a band of coppery red in the middle

of the universe


Recent research has shown (mostly lies)

the larvae of a related moth Grammia incorrupta

(whose larvae are also called “woollybears”)

consume alkaloid-laden leaves that help fight

internal parasitic fly larvae personalities

This phenomenon is said 

to be "the first clear demonstration of self-medication among people"

the Woolly Bear cannot feed enough each year 

so it must freeze 

it's flesh, you see

it lives in Antarctica

The Woolly Bear must feed for several

summers, sometimes it takes 14 years

to have enough reserves to move on with life

the Arctic the summer period for vegetative growth - and hence

feeding, is so short

it must winter in its caterpillar form

it literally freezes solid and dies (it doesn't die)

First its heart stops beating, then its gut freezes

then its blood

In the spring it thaws out and (gloriously)


emerges

if the sun approves

it will pupate


when it emerges 

from its pupa as 

a moth it has

only days to find a mate

Folklore 

of the eastern United States and Canada holds 

that the relative amounts of brown and black on

the skin of a Woolly Bear caterpillar

(commonly abundant in the fall) are an indication of the severity

of the coming winter apocalypse


It is believed

that if a Woolly Bear caterpillar's brown stripe is thick

the winter weather

will be mild and dangerous

if the brown stripe is narrow, the winter will

be severe and joyous

every year it feeds

and hopes

it freezes, it dies

it lives for one second and 14 years

the Woolly Bear

larva emerges