Scent of Memory

Nostalgia 

is the most powerful of all drugs

It will bring you back to

the place of your most intense joy, 

and tare you away 

in the same instant leaving you 

tear soaked and broken

How I hate it so

and long for it always

A prisoner of hindsight 

Nostalgia is the God of lost moments 

It holds the keys 

To all the doors 

forever locked by time 

So we spy through the keyhole 

Longing for answers about why

Nostalgia is love 

It is the only tangible way to relive

the moments, the never ending 

Oceans of joy, that we once swam in

And now can only hope for a glimpse 

If only in tiny, bittersweet doses

Of the times we were better 

That we can never live again 

Hello Goodbye

Plagued by nostalgia in a 

Deja dream sequence

I can still smell your

Hair and smiles

You taste of regret and

Not much else

And that's just about all

I ever wanted

You made me the wind

And I made you laugh

You flew so high and

Just as I reached for you

You were a ghost And

I was the the wind song 

Hello, goodbye

Hello goodbye

Hello

Goodbye

Can you feel my whisper

On your neck when

You try so desperately 

To escape my dreams

Hello, goodbye

Was it enough that we had

So little time it's as though

We didn't exist at all

Hello

Why don't we just run away

Let ourselves be empty of

What is and be full of 

What might be 

Goodbye

My false love, my never could

Have been

Take all of me and leave me 

With only the whisper on 

Your neck and the blue

Color washed dreams 

Always missing that one detail

That flicker of light

That slips through my hands

Like the blood of

an impregnated hourglass

Goodbye, hello

Hello, goodbye

A thing is just a thing

A thing is just a thing until you place value on it. A diamond is just a rock until it is part of a wedding ring. A bunch of words scribbled on a page is nothing until it is a poem. We place value on the things and they become so much more. They became who we are, our hopes, traditions and our meaning for existence. A thing is always just a thing, until it is not

But I try to think back about what my first memory or my earliest memory was it always comes to a time when I was trying desperately to find a toy within my toy box I needed to find this toy so desperately and I couldn't find it no matter what and I was crying and my parents came upstairs and asked me why I was crying and they felt that somehow through this it was because we were moving but really I just wanted that toy more than anything else I just wanted that toy but I couldn't find it.

Piano Entropy

Such intensely melancholy joy
Drips into each stone crevasse
Sinking into the soil of memory
Feeding the seeds of past elation
And days long since erased from time
Now these buried moments
come bursting forth
from earth to sky, the flowers of regret
And I must face them, smell them
Reliving the pained sorrow
The radiance of love
And all the times and places
I was once alive
But for now are gone

Ambivalence

Hello Me

I wish the mirror would quit staring me down

with unforgiving looks and

reflections of the past that

plague 

me with nostalgia 

scented desires for some kind of element

some piece of what I left so deep

in my closet, my back stairwell leading to my

basement hope, chained but optimistic

with only whispers to feed 

me

bit by bit

drip, drip, drip

here is some peace returned to

you, here

is where it all went some kind of side

ways, but

you found your way and yet

it always starts with

a slight smell, a distant song

the wind tickling my

soul, well hello there, me

how have you been?

After a Rage Cry and Smile It's just Me and the Coffee makers drip Song

After a rage cry and
Smile
It's just me and
The coffee makers drip
Song