Facial

The razor itself is approximately 3 inches long. The handle is surrounded by a sort of approachable green plastic, semi transparent gel. Running up the middle of the razor is a white center piece with 6 different sized/shaped holes inter spliced up the middle. The head is white as well with three thin blades and a moister strip. The moisture strip is designed to keep your skin from drying out. This is clearly a woman's razor.

I mention that it is a woman's razor because I cannot grow facial hair. To explain, I can grow what might be interpreted as hair on my chin and upper lip. These spindly almost plastic like follicle growths dot my face only when I forget to shave. It looks just awful. It is patchy and can best be described as a sad prepubescent mess.

It would be fine if the hair did not grow at all. That would be OK. Instead I still have to shave like every other man. I cannot escape my strange facial fur. If I go any length of time without a shave I will not grow a beard, but instead a grimy mess of fury falseness. This leads people to give me odd concerned looks, and to ask questions about whether or not I am alright. No sir, I am not alright, look at my face.

I do not purchase razors as my only protest. Yes that is right, I protest my lack of facial manliness with my refusal of currency. This, I have come to realize, has exasperated my lack of man-li-tude. Now I must shave my very feminine face with this very feminine razor.

I hate how democratic the green and white colors are. They seem to say "hey we can work this out buddy" or "should we talk about our feelings?". A man razor would tell this razor where it can go with it's friendly approachable color. It can go right to hell!

Give me a chain saw blade to shave my face, and then we can separate the men from the ones with tiny alien facial tentacles.